Preventing Bullying Over the Holidays

Ready or not – the holidays and -- winter break -- are upon us! Hanukkah begins at Sundown on Tuesday, December 20; Christmas Day is Sunday, December 25 and Kwanzaa begins on Monday, December 26 --- just to name a few – and, of course, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are Saturday, December 31 and Sunday, January 1 respectively.

If you are the parent of a child or teen who has been bullied or ostracized in school – the holidays and winter break time can be, according to SocialShield, a “mixed blessing.”

On the one hand – your child or teen is safe at home and away from the pressures of bullying and the peer ostracization and social isolation at school.

However, on the other hand, your child or teen IS HOME and not at the parties, sleepovers, movies or other age-appropriate social functions during this time of the year. Worse, your child may also be spending an inordinate amount of time on the computer during this time and can thus become the target of cyber-abuse or cyberbullying.

In essence, the isolation associated with bullying “shifts” from school to home during this time of the year and you – as a parent, guardian or responsible adult – will see more of its impact during this time.

According to the U.S. Department of Education, bullying is defined as “a repeated pattern of aggressive behaviors that involves an imbalance of power and that purposefully inflicts harm on the bullying victim” while cyberbullying is defined as “willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones, and other electronic devices.” According to Social Shield, cyberbullying can hurt even more than “in-person” bullying because the bullies can exact their cruelty anonymously.

Therefore, what can parents do to make your child or teen’s life more bearable during the holidays? According to SocialShield, below are some tips:

1. Be patient and supportive --- expect that being a victim of bullying and exclusion can/may/will make your child moody and try not to take – up to certain limits -- their moodiness and negative behavior personally.

2. Have as much activity around the house as possible – invite friends and family over, maintain a festive environment in the home and if your child has family, cousins of similar age – invite them over.

3. Research public libraries and parks – look into activities offered at the public libraries during this time of year and at parks “a few towns over” from where your child lives so that he or she can have the opportunity to make new friends in a new environment and experience a positive social life outside of school. Encourage your child to enroll in something positive as well as age-appropriate in the coming New Year.

4. Spend quality time with your child – engage – although at first – especially if she/he is a teen they may not appear to like it – some activities you do not ordinarily do during the year. Providing such special activities will make those special family memories we like to associate the holidays with -- but will – in the here and now – offset some of your child’s loneliness.

5. Finally – and most important of all --- be there for your daughter or son. Listen to them and let them know – even if they don’t want to hear it – how much you love them.

For more information about bullying or for information about the programs and services – including how we can help your child procure services – contact The Mental Health Association in Forsyth County at 336.768.3880.