Sticking with Winners part 1

Sticking With Winners

Posted by Tricia Spencer at 3/2/2011 8:00:00 AM

Sticking with winners...that was a topic I heard about at a meeting I attended the other night. Two questions were asked; "Are you a winner for your kids?" and "Are you sticking with winners for yourself"? What does a "winner" look like? Is it someone who is really good at what they do? Is it someone who does everything correct? Is it someone who is liked by everyone? Webster dictionary defines being a winner as: one that wins admiration or one that is successful especially through praiseworthy ability and hard work. In other words, a winner is someone who is inspiring and good to be around. Today I would like to talk about being a winner for your child.

The question asked about are you a winner for your child really took me back and made me think. I thought it was a no brainer. Of course, I am a winner for my child. But, as the conversation began, I started to hear ways in which I probably was not a winner for my child. Parents spoke about not encouraging their child enough, not praising them enough, not spending quality time just talking and listening to them. So, I started thinking about all the ways I was not a winner for my child. I have teenagers and that makes it even harder to be a winner for them because they act like they don't want you anywhere near them. It is different when your children are in elementary school and they still see you as their hero. Then, it is easy to be a winner to them. You applaud all their firsts and encourage them to keeping going further.They make it very easy to be a winner to them.

As children grow older, developmentally, they tend to push away from their parents and look towards their peers to be their "winners". They get their affirmations from their friends and that is who they want to spend all their time with. It is at this time that we need to be "winners" the most for our children. This can look many ways and you have just try things to see what gets their attention. It can be as simple as saying, " I love you" when you see them come through the door. It can be that you stop what you are doing, sit down with your child and ask them how their day went. Let them lead the conversation and you listen. Even a quick text message of "have a good day" or "luv ya" can send the message that you are pulling for your child and you are thinking about them. Being a winner for your child shows that you are interested in their life and you are their cheerleader no matter what.

I was very humbled by the conversation. I had given up on trying to connect with my child because I did not think he wanted to talk or to hear from me. I took the fact that he wanted to be with his friends more than with me, that I did not matter in his life. The fact is, no matter their age, your child needs you to be a winner for them. Encourage them, talk with them, spend time with them, and love them. Be their cheerleader.

What will you do to be a winner to your child today? I will be texting mine...and that is a start.